The last thing I wanted to do this Saturday night was spend several hours writing, editing, and typing this letter. However, I needed to do it, because it's truly the best way to spread awareness of the asinine nature of Mr. Starbird's pronouncements. But first, let me pose you a question: Is Starbird actually concerned about any of us, or does he just want to deflect attention from his unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen? After reading this letter, you'll decidedly find it's the latter.
Writing instructors seeking to introduce the concept of "Jacobinism" into their curricula could hardly do better than to use Starbird's shenanigans as an example, pure and simple. In asserting that his memoirs won't be used for political retribution, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. Before Starbird spews any more psychoanalytical drivel, let me assure him that it's surely astounding that he has somehow found a way to work the words "noninterventionalist" and "pharmacodynamic" into his declamations. However, you may find it even more astounding that I am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Starbird. Here's what I have to say to them: In a larger context, Starbird's pesky sophistries remind us that acts of authoritarianism continue in our midst. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that I could go on for pages listing innumerable examples of his officious intimations and ill-bred inclinations. I have already written enough, surely, to convince you that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to convince the government to clamp down hard on Starbird's inveracities have no right to complain when he and his followers spit on sacred icons.
When people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Starbird is to blame. I once had a nightmare in which he was free to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that in order to convince us that vigilantism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, Starbird often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. I've tried explaining to his mercenaries that one loses count of the number of times he has tried to repeat the mistakes of the past. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that every morning Starbird asks himself, "How can I fool the masses today?". But there's the rub; I can reword my point as follows. Starbird does not play nice with others.
We find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that everything Starbird says is totally and absolutely true. This belief is due to a basic confusion, which can be cleared up simply by stating that I, for one, hate it when people get their facts wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings, I can't help but think that I frequently talk about how the Starbird-ization of our political and spiritual lives will sentence more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death faster than you can say "unconstitutionality". I would drop the subject, except that it is hardly surprising that he wants to break down age-old institutions and customs. After all, this is the same abysmal scatterbrain whose sick prattle informed us that his cock-and-bull stories are all sweetness and light. Starbird knows how to lie. It's too bad he doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying.
As a consistently mortified observer of Starbird's belief systems, I can't help but want to advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most sinister manifestations. That's just one side of the coin. The other side is that Starbird's lickspittles claim to have no choice but to terrorize our youngsters. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, maledicent reprobates. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand. If you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which Starbird may fund a vast web of fastidious, contentious crumbums, corrupt twerps, and prurient know-nothings before you know it, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that if Starbird continues to use lethal violence as a source of humor, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. If he wants to grant a free ride to the undeserving, let him wear the opprobrium of that decision. Starbird's idea of addressing a problem is not to fix the problem but to establish a task force, council, or commission to look into it, study it, dissect it, and finally talk it to death. Natural law is therefore the fulcrum upon which rests the case that no one likes being attacked by malodorous nudniks. Even worse, Starbird exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve as soon as our backs are turned into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to prey on people's fear of political and economic instability. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that Starbird's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.
Should you think I'm saying too much, please note that Starbird likes witticisms that call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that statements like, "Much of the noise made on his behalf is generated by directionless jabberers who seem to have nothing better to do with their time" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. Hooliganism is dangerous. His contemptible version of it is doubly so. You'd think I'd be pretty well inured by now to the lunacies of Starbird's teachings, but I have to say that Starbird will do everything in his power to dupe his apparatchiks into believing that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; Starbird's solutions are continually evolving into more and more ornery incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how I once managed to get Starbird to agree that he can't relate what he sees to any broader principle. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that.
I alluded to this earlier, but the concepts underlying Starbird's mephitic, silly overgeneralizations are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Starbird's idea that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time is wrong. By this, I mean that infantile fork-tongued-types like Starbird are not born -- they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that Starbird is an interesting character. On the one hand, he likes to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. But on the other hand, someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Starbird. The memo spells out his plans to seek temporary tactical alliances with baleful profiteers in order to cheat on taxes. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that the only weapons Starbird has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.
Starbird's bootlickers are quick to point out that because Starbird is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, he is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, Starbird is a victim of his own success -- a success that enables Starbird to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts. I've known some weasels who were impressively mischievous. However, Starbird is stingy, and that trumps mischievous every time. He demands obeisance from his devotees. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Starbird forces them to limit the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion. While I am not attempting to argue openly in favor of any particular position, people tell me that violence is a crutch for the depravity that sex-crazed, uncouth lamebrains are capable of. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course.
I believe I have finally figured out what makes people like Starbird curry favor with muzzy-headed, obstreperous flag burners using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their "value", their "importance", their "educational mission", and other petty nonsense. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one's own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world. Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe his rank-and-file followers accept his soporific philippics without question. Then doesn't it follow that he has a near-legendary lack of common sense, decency, and manners? I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and dictatorial, unbalanced renegades, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Licentious Rhetoric. In the meantime, I can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me respond to Starbird's flimflams. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must refute Starbird's arguments line by line and claim by claim. The first step in that process is to realize that it's unequivocally a tragedy that his goal in life is apparently to undermine the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that Starbird's diabolic offhand remarks rescue Fabianism from the rubbish heap of history, dust it off, slap on a coat of cheap sophistry, and market it as new and improved. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to end his control over the minds and souls of countless people. Starbird should hide his head in shame before the judgment of future generations, whose tongue it will no longer be possible to stop and which, therefore, will say what today all of us know to be true: If we let Starbird rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity, then greed, corruption, and recidivism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions.
If Starbird's pals had even an ounce of integrity, they would stop Starbird's encroachments on our heritage. Starbird coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his taradiddles sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary. Here are a few points to ponder:
The law of parsimony suggests that Starbird's vassals don't worry me, since they're generally not in positions to make significant decisions (except maybe "right shoe on right foot").
As witnesses to mankind's inner dissatisfaction, we must focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a cruel agenda.
There is a certain Burkean prudence that animates people like me to remove the misunderstanding that Starbird has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world.
Those points may at first seem unrelated, but when you connect the dots, it becomes clear that Starbird has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may do what comes naturally and, as the alternative, the disgraceful and wicked dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Starbird. Choose carefully, because if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less flighty than Starbird. The take-away message of this letter is that the reasons that Mr. Starbird gives for his propositions clearly do not correspond with his real motives. Think about it. I don't want to have to write another letter a few years from now, in the wake of a society torn apart by Starbird's rancorous, phlegmatic philosophies, reminding you that you were warned.
Wixen1
www.pakin.org/complaint